


Hope

by thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain



Category: Legacies (TV 2018), The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms
Genre: And then they get back together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Handon, Landon's POV, and then he does, handon reunion, landon doesn't remember hope, sort of recapping the entire season from ep 1 to when they get back together on Christmas, the warning is cuz it describes landon's death in one part, this is really just all the angst going on during his mind from point a to point b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22548427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain/pseuds/thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain
Summary: "He knows her.It's a gut feeling, an illogical thought that passes through his brain the second their eyes interlock. She looks surprised, or even shocked, but also pained, as if she may recognize him too, but he's never been good at reading people.It's those eyes, he can't help but think. Bright blue and striking, full of chaos and calm and love and pain and so many other juxtapositions that he can't even count them all. All he knows is that her features look sad and fragile and vulnerable and all his brain can say is that he knows her..."[Landon trying to remember Hope, then remembering her, and then finding his way back to her, all told through Ladon's POV, all canon compliant]
Relationships: Landon Kirby/Hope Mikaelson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This has been sitting in my drafts for so long, so I thought I'd finally finish it and have it be my first fic back. I know I haven't written anything in so long, and I'll give more details about that at the end of this if you care to know, but I hope to be writing a lot more again and no, I haven't forgotten about Wonderwall. I feel so bad for not posting anything about it in so long, but I will try my hardest to get a new chapter posted soon. 
> 
> I love Handon so much, and I had so much fun writing this fic. Enjoy!

He remembers her when he dreams.

On the edges of his mind; a vision so distant and blurry that he couldn't distinguish if it was a memory or a figment of his imagination. He wakes up feeling empty, like he's left a piece of himself back in his subconscious, trapped there and unable to escape when he opens his eyes. 

She came in snapshots. 

A laugh, echoing so far away in his that he could barely hear it, but that makes his heart race. 

Soft blue irises, too blurry to distinguish, but clear enough for him to see the pain in them. 

A voice calling his name, with so much passion and love in the syllables, in a way he has never heard before, in a way that was so familiar yet foreign that it drives him mad.

The gentle curve of lips, upturned in a smirk, amused by something he can never remember.

When he wakes up, he can feel the images haunting him, etched into his brain but impossible for him to figure out. While he sleeps, the images feel like home, but when he's awake, it feels like solving a puzzle with the wrong pieces. He can get the pieces to fit, but they never make the correct picture.

He feels like it's slowing driving him mad. 

* * *

He remembers her when he dies.

When he stands on the pier, he can't help but wonder why. Why he does this so often, almost like a ritual he's created with himself. Rafael would hate him if he knew, but he was thankful that this wasn't part of the paths he knew him to travel. In his wolf form, he stuck closer to the trees, hidden under the cover of leaves and night.

He tells himself he does it to silence his thoughts. To get a reprieve from pretending that he was the great savior who destroyed Malivore, from the frustration of not being able to fix Rafael yet, from the loneliness that settled into his gut, making him feel emptier than ever before. 

But if he's honest with himself, he knew he was doing it because of her. 

When he dies, she's clearer. As he jumps off the pier into the dark water, she came in visions.

He hears her voice. Not just his name, but sentences. The voice was just far enough away for him to not be able to make out the words, just far away enough that it's out of reach, that it drives him crazy.

He sees her smile. Not just a smirk, but a full, genuine smile. 

He sees her eyes light up, full of happiness and love and beauty. 

He sees a shaky hand brush hair behind her ear, 

But when he dies, he _feels_ her, too.

He feels the heat of a soft hand cupping his face. He feels the coolness of rings around the fingers, pressing lightly into the skin of his cheeks. He feels her gentle touch grazing over his skin, making him ache for more. 

He feels the ghost of those soft lips pressing against his own. Carefully, cautiously, electrically.

As his consciousness starts to drift away from him, more comes. He smells her scent, soft and feminine and so painfully familiar that he swears he could recognize it if only he had a little more time.

As he sinks deeper, with the weight of the cinder block tied around his waist pulling him down and down, he feels the pressure of the rope replaced. Instead of the tight and unrelenting feeling of rope, he feels her arms wrapping around him, strongly but lovingly. Desperately, as if she's scared he's going to disappear if she dares to let go.

But it's not him that disappears. It's _her_. 

When he rises from the ashes, flames dancing on the surface of the water, he can't help but wish for a second that he could die again, if only to spend a little more time with the visions. 

But she stays trapped in his mind, stays submerged below the dark water, and he remains unable to figure out why these visions feel like the closest thing he's ever felt to belonging. 

Maybe he's going crazy from stress. Maybe she's nothing. Or maybe she's the key to everything.

He's not sure, but he's sure that he will die again, whether it was by way of werewolf, vampire, witch, monster or even his own hand. But he was okay with it, if only to get another glimpse of her.

* * *

He remembers her the moment he sees her. 

He's alone with his thoughts, which is his least favorite type of lonely. He's had his headphones in, trying to use his music to drown out all the chaos in his mind about Josie and their date and the way she was acting and the fact that he felt even more alone now than ever. 

It was only when the embers started to fall that he looks up. 

He thought he was the only one out in the park at this hour. He hadn't seen anyone else around, and surely no other phoenix's were out rising from the ashes in the middle of Mystic Falls. But as he sat there, embers started to float around him, igniting the sky with tiny flames. It was odd, yes, but he was used to odd. Odd had quickly become his new normal since he stepped through the doors of the Salvatore school. 

He feels himself stand up and turn around, his body moving on its own accord, and it's then that he sees her.

She's staring back at him, not at all concerned by the flames falling down all around her. Her hair falls over her shoulders, messily framing her face. Her expression is unreadable, full of too many conflicting emotions for him to even try to decipher them

But he _knows_ her.

It's a gut feeling, an illogical thought that passes through his brain the second their eyes interlock. She looks surprised, or even shocked, but also pained, as if she may recognize him too, but he's never been good at reading people.

_It's those eyes,_ he can't help but think. Bright blue and striking, full of chaos and calm and love and pain and so many other juxtapositions that he can't even count them all. All he knows is that her features look sad and fragile and vulnerable and all his brain can say is that _he knows her._

God, she looks so familiar that it hurts him. Maybe she just has one of those faces, or maybe she's what he's been looking for his entire life. He can't tell. All that he knows is that he can't find the strength to look away.

She's the first to break eye contact, walking away quickly with her head down, not looking back,, and the moment is over way too quickly. 

And Landon is left figuring out why it feels like a piece of him was just ripped out of his chest when she leaves.

* * *

He remembers her, instinctively, when he sees her again later that night.

He's on a walk, the pale light of the streetlights illuminating his way in the dark. He's coming from the Mystic Grill when he spots her. 

Or, her hair rather, cascading over her shoulders in long ribbons. She's crouched over, her elbows on her knees as she leans down to reach her bag, laying on the grass next to her. She's facing away from him, not allowing him to see her face, but he knows it's her. He can feel it. He can feel her presence calling out to him.

She's unaware he's there, that much he can tell, but seeing her stops him dead in his tracks. He feet are rooted to the ground, unable to move until he finally decides to call out to her.

"Hey," he starts, unable to think of anything else, and mentally kicking himself for not thinking of anything better. He doesn't know why he cares so much.

She sits up straight, turning to face him, greeting him with the same expression as last time, a look full of so many different emotions bleeding into each other. Shock and surprise are prevalent in her wide eyes, and he's pretty sure he sees recognition there as well.

If only he could figure out why he knows her. Why she feels so _important_. Why that look makes his heart crack in his chest, ever so slightly.

"Hey," she replies weakly. The word hangs in the air between them.

"We saw each other earlier," he states. He can't help but feel like this is insane, that he feels so drawn to this girl that his feet are moving without his intent, bringing him closer and closer to her. And he can't help but fear that he's wrong, that she's not the girl he thinks she is, even though he can feel in his bones that she is. "Right?"

She nods slowly, her mouth still open ever so slightly in shock. After a second, she composes herself, nodding quickly and making a face.

"Yeah," she confirms as she tears her eyes away from his for a second. When her eyes meet his again, Landon can't help but feel that her expression is softer. More vulnerable. 

"Um," she starts, and he hears the shakiness in the syllable. "I was just out on a walk to clear my head."

"Rough night?"

She seems thrown by the question for a moment, but answers before he has a chance to backtrack. 

"Yeah actually," she replies.

"Uh..." She seems to wonder if she should elaborate, making a face before she shrugs and simply states, "Relationship trouble."

Landon nods once, looking down at his shoes as he mutters, almost to himself. "Must be contagious." 

He didn't mean to say the words out loud, but he looks up at her when he does, a smile naturally forming on his face, and it's weird how comfortable this conversation feels. He's never made friends easily, especially not with beautiful mystery women. He can't explain the ease he feels around her, the magnetism she seems to have.

"Why? You too?" She asks, and normally he wouldn't open up to a stranger, but he finds himself answering anyway.

"Yeah."

By this point, he's already approached the stone bench she's sitting at, his feet having carried him towards her of their own accord as he talks with her. He sits down next to her, and he feels an overwhelming urge to sit closer than he does. 

"I met this really amazing girl, but all of a sudden, everything's super complicated."

"Huh," is all she says to that. 

Sitting closer to her, he can feel his memory stirring. He knows her. He just can't figure out why. It's as if his subconscious is refusing to let his brain in on the mystery of _who is she?_

When he looks back at her, her gaze has dropped from his. _She looks sad when she does that,_ he notes, _and lost in her thoughts._ The sight gives him deja vu so hard that his head spins. 

"You?" He asks, and once again, she seems caught off guard by the question.

"Oh, uh..." She begins, bringing her gaze to his and away again as she shakes her head once quickly, tearing herself out of her thoughts, if only for a moment. He can't help but notice how in her head she seems to be, carefully thinking through every word she says before she says it.

And he can't help but notice the pain in her eyes, pain that seems to amplify whenever her gaze locks on his for too long. 

She chuckles, but there's no humor in the sound. _It sounds so familiar,_ he thinks.

"Old story, I guess." She rolls her eyes as she says it, as if she thinks the whole thing is stupid. "Fell for a guy who doesn't even know I exist."

She smiles as she says the last part, but Landon has been through enough trauma in his life to know a fake smile when he sees one, and the facade she wears can't hide the tremble in her voice, anyway.

"Huh," he says, and as he keeps watching her, the mask drops instantly. Her face scrunches up, and she makes a motion as if to say _what can you do?_ But he can see her lost in her thoughts again, the voices in her head too loud to allow her to hide her emotions. 

"That's classic," he tells her, not knowing what else to say that won't add to her evident heartbreak. He can't help but briefly think that the guy she's talking about would be lucky to be loved by her, but the thought is gone as soon as it crosses his mind.

She smiles again as she nods once, and he thinks it may actually be real this time as she lets out a small "yeah." But her eyes fall to her hands, and the sadness returns. He feels an unexplainable instinct to hug her, to bring her close and try to comfort her, and if he could only keep her talking, maybe he could figure out why it feels like he's known her his entire life, and why he feels the urge to open up to her, as if she had cast a truth spell like one he would learn at the Salvatore School. 

He can't explain it. He wants to be able to explain it. He wants to know her. But he doesn't. The feelings of closeness and familiarity does nothing to change the fact that she's still a stranger, even if his gut is telling at him to rethink it. 

"She is really great," he says instead, giving into the urge to share about himself to her. She nods slowly, like she's processing the information, _like she knows_ what he means. He finds himself lost in his thoughts this time as he speaks, remembering why he was out for a walk in the first place, to try to sort through the mess in his head about his situation with Josie. 

"I just feel like... i want it to be perfect. And I want to be the perfect boyfriend, and shes trying to be the perfect girlfriend." He shifts his focus back to her, and she makes a face as if to show him that she's listening, or to make it look like she is. He continues anyway. 

"And it was really effortless, but now it feels... Off. I don't know." 

The softness returns to her eyes, like his words are making her feel vulnerable. He doesn't know why.

"Sorry," he mumbles, not quite knowing what he's apologizing for. For throwing all of his problems onto her, or for saying something that could cause the emotions swirling around in her eyes. Or for not being able to figure out why those eyes look so familiar. 

He looks away, looking at the milkshake in his hands instead of at her and her sad eyes that seem to break his heart. He mentally kicks himself for telling her all those things. 

"No," she tells him, seeming to understand the awkwardness he's starting to feel about opening up in that way. Landon can't figure out how she seems to be able to read him so well.

"You know, um," she continues. "A very smart boy once taught me that sometimes, you have to be brave enough to be imperfect with people."

He nods slowly, taking in her words, and seeing the way that her eyes start to fill with tears as she speaks. She smiles though, and this time it's a genuine one, a real smile that lights up all her features for the briefest of seconds. Even her tear filled eyes seem to get brighter when she smiles. 

"Even if it's scary," she adds, and he can't help but feels like she's reading his mind.

"Yeah," he laughs out, shaking his head at himself. It was good advice for someone he barely knew, advice that she should probably try to take to heart. The thought still terrified him, though. He blew out air and rubbed at his eyes as he lets his mind wonder about how being imperfect with Josie Saltzman would feel. 

"Of course, you're gonna have to take your own advice, and tell that boy of yours that you exist."

The words come out on instinct, coming straight from his heart without giving his brain a second to process it. He usually wouldn't be giving a stranger advice, and especially not in such a forward way, but he usually wouldn't be opening up to one, either. And ashes didn't usually rain down from the sky, and he usually didn't have a girlfriend he wanted to impress, and he usually didn't even order this milkshake. The whole night was unusual. 

And he didn't usually feel such a sense of complete peace around anybody, let alone a stranger.

_I know her,_ his brain screams at him.

When he looks back at her, he sees a tear slide down her face. It hurts him, he feels it in his chest, as if her tears were laced with acid. It hurts to see her like that. His follows it down her face. 

Her eyes widen a bit when she realizes, and she brings her hand up to wipe it away quickly, looking away from him as she does that, not letting him see any of her emotions. It's crazy how she can be so unreadable, yet so open at the same time. It makes his head spin.

"Oh," she says. She laughs again, but it's devoid of humor. When she turns, her hair is covering her face more than before. She shrugs her shoulder, hiding her face behind the curtain of hair and her jean jacket. "I don't know about that." She can't hide her sniffle, trying her best to keep any other tears contained. 

They fall into silence, and despite him wanting to stay there forever, Landon knows he has to make it back to the Salvatore School before curfew. He wasn't planning on getting on the new headmaster's bad side so soon. 

"I hope your night gets better," he tells her, and he truly means it. Whoever she is, she doesn't deserve the heartache she's feeling. 

She nods once, muttering out a "thanks" and giving him a quick smile. 

He can't help but feel like something's missing. He's suddenly aware of the milkshake in his hands. He still doesn't even know why he ordered it in the first place. It's not much, but it'll have to do.

"This'll help," he states, dropping the milkshake onto the bench between them. "Peanut butter blast, whipped cream on the bottom. It's probably all melted by now."

"Oh." She reaches out slowly, carefully grabbing the cup and tilting it so she can see it as he stands up. Even as he turns away from her, he feels the urge to keep talking.

And so he does.

"I don't even know why I ordered it," he says. "I didn't have any of it. I didn't want a milkshake. It just seemed..."

He doesn't know how to end that thought, still mildly confused. So he doesn't, shrugging softly at her instead. She gives a sad smile and shrugs back, seeming to understand something in the silence he doesn't even understand himself. 

He starts to walk away, but not before making sure to tell her "thanks for listening." She gives him a face back, one that he can't tell if it's positive or not. 

If it's negative, he doesn't want to know. So he walks away instead, and he can't explain why it feels like he's walking away from something important. 

Or _someone_ important. 

* * *

He remembers her as soon as she steps off the bus. 

She looks different in the daylight, without the streetlights illuminating her blue eyes. 

_She looks younger_ , he thinks, _with her hair in the braids instead of falling around her shoulders._ And there's a feeling in his gut, seeing her in the black and red Timberwolf uniform; a feeling like she doesn't belong in it. 

Her eyes lock onto his instantly, and her gaze traps him in place. He can't do anything but stare back at her, his mind frantically searching through his every thought trying to make sense of her. Her stare has him paralyzed in a way he's never felt before, captivated so completely that there's nothing he can do but be completely at the mercy of her beautiful sad eyes. 

It's both thrilling and terrifying.

Josie snaps him out of it. Her voice cuts through his head easily, centering him and bringing him back down to reality. 

"Do you know that girl?"

He doesn't know how to answer. _No_ , wants to leave his lips. The simple answer. The _true_ answer. But every cell in his body responds with a _yes_ , so loud that he almost feels like he's shaking.

"Not really," he says, a happy medium between his brain and his body. "Just, uh, we shared a milkshake once."

* * *

He remembers her, again and again; the sight of her feeling new and entirely familiar every time.

He remembers her when he feels Josie's jealousy, and sees how her presence is bringing out the worst parts of her. 

When he finds out she's both a werewolf and a witch. He knows that's something he should be more freaked out about; it's not that he's not freaked out about it, but it feels way more normal than it should. 

When he realizes Rafael has feelings for her, and he feels the strongest, most unexplained sense of deja vu he's ever had in his life

He remembers her when he rises from Lizzie stabbing him, fresh off his death and with her face right in front of him. He can finally connect the mystery girl from his dreams and deaths as her, but still can't place how or why he was getting visions of her if he hadn't met her until just a couple weeks ago. He asks her, but all she tells him is for him to get back return to Josie.

And then it finally happens.

* * *

He remembers her. Really, truly, with every fiber of his being. 

He remembers serving her milkshakes at the Mystic Grill. Dancing in the nighttime. Kissing her for the first time in the cell. He remembers singing to her in her room. He remembers making out with her in the motel. He remembers loving her, and the feeling that she gave him every time he was in her presence. A feeling that he's decided must be what home feels like. 

But most of all, he remembers her sacrificing herself. He remembers her killing him, knowing that he would never let her throw herself into the Malivore pit if he was alive to try to stop her. He remembers waking up alone, and feeling a indescribable feeling of loneliness ever since.

He can't help but be mad at her. It's an instinct, and a feeling so strong, he feels like it might consume him. Not only at the fact that she had sacrificed herself and left him alone, but at the fact that she had been back and hadn't come to find him. Come back to find _anyone_. He thought she was past the lone wolf mentality., but he should've known she was more stubborn than that,

He can't find it in himself to speak to her about it after initially confronting her. The whole situation is hard, messy and unbelievably complicated, not only with the fact that she had disappeared, but that he had started dating Josie while she was away. He knows in his mind that there was no malicious intent behind it; it can't be considered cheating if he didn't know Hope existed, but he can't escape the guilt that seems to be running through his veins. 

* * *

He remembers his love for her. 

Once the anger dissipates and his brain is working normally again, that's the only conclusion he can come to. He's loved her since the moment he laid his eyes on her. Since the moment he spoke to her. And impossibly, he loved her when he didn't even know she existed. 

When she was just a vision, a flash of features in his mind. When she was just the faintest, distant memory in the deepest recesses of his mind. When all that he had was the empty blackness of death, his love for her remained. He loved her even when he was dead, and with that realization, he knew that love was the only emotion he would be able to feel for her as long as he was alive, or dead. 

As long and he exists, so does his love for her. 

And so he comes back to the school when Lizzie asks him to, even if that means having to break Josie's heart, and he feels his heart break a little too, because this just doesn't feel fair to her, to him, to _anyone_. She doesn't deserve the heartbreak, he knows that, but he also knows that she doesn't deserve to be lied to, and any second he spent trying to pretend that his feelings for Hope were gone would've just been a second where he was lying to one of the best girls he had ever met. 

He's terrified when he goes to meet Hope, because that's what happens when he confronts things. He may have phoenix resurrection powers that gave him a newfound confidence in battles, but it does nothing to help him work up his nerve for confronting his feelings. And worse, he just really doesn't wanna lose Hope. He _can't_ lose her, not after he just got her back.

So when everything is resolved, and he sees that sunshine smile under the Christmas lights, and he kisses her lips under the mistletoe, Landon can't help but think that if he ever does actually die, the feeling of Heaven would surely pale in comparison to the feeling of kissing Hope Mikaelson. 

**Author's Note:**

> I really can't believe there's not more Handon fanfic around, so I had to contribute to the cause. I've been watching Legacies since ep 1, but I really have fallen head over heels in love with Handon this season. I think they've entered my Holy Trinity of ships with Karamel and Malex now, and I'm not hating it at all.
> 
> Sorry again for being so inactive with fic writing. My life got super chaotic with an amazing career opportunity that just happened to fall apart a couple months ago, as well as falling in love and having my heart shattered all around the same time. Plus, i got a new job that literally took all my fic writing time away from me. Last year was definitely A LOT, but I'm hoping this year will be better. 
> 
> Thank you for reading all this, and I hope to post more soon!
> 
> [I am also on Tumblr under the same name, thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain]


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